I had my appointment with Dean Robinson, who's now the BS/MS person since Dean Topham's departure. It turns out that a good chunk of the trouble that I ran into back in 1999 came from the fact that all of Dean Topham's BS/MS records got forwarded from the Undergraduate Studies office to... somewhere. Somewhere unknown. They haven't the faintest clue where, actually, but they're looking.
All of my other records have since wound up in Archives, since it's been more than five years. They're going to attempt to exhume them -- and, hopefully, turn up some sort of paperwork related to my successful application to the BS/MS program back in the day (remember then, samsarra?), which in turn will get the Graduate Studies Office to finally have a clue who I am and why they should award me a degree.
Speaking of whom, Dean Robinson sent me over there when we were done, after a chat about Canada and its many virtues, and after having me fill out a BSE degree application, to pick up the relevant paperwork from them to fill out. I now have it here, in an official-looking packet labeled "MASTER PLAN B".
Hee. I have the master plan now! Muhahahaha! And we're definitely on Plan B now, if not Plan H or Q or Z or 9....